Bertie: So enough holiday, time to do our New Year's Resolutions.
Oliver: What's that?
Bertie: It's when you plan to do things, or not do things for the coming year. Like new experiences, or stopping bad habits.
Oliver: Ok, here's mine:
To eat 10 things I've never eaten before
To eat 1000 things I have eaten before
To sleep a lot
To not get that cowlick again that makes me look stoopid.
To exert total control over Sasha
To not come when I'm called unless there is something in it for me.
Bertie: I don't think you've grasped the concept completely.
Oliver: What do you mean?
Bertie: Well, for example, you should be making a resolution to Come When I'm Called.
Oliver: I did. It's the last one.
Bertie: Without the "unless there is something in it for me"
Oliver: Why would I do that? I like my way better.